Skinnybutt and I don’t get much one on one time together. The last “date” we had was on our anniversary, that we went with a church group to see David Jeremiah. It was an enjoyable time.
We do put the kids to bed early so we can get one on one time then. But that doesn’t always work. Both of us being in school full time, me prepping school for Thumper and Flounder, and normal housework. Not much time is left for him and I.
Knowing that not putting effort into a relationship isn’t good. And beside God, Skinnybutt is my most important relationship. But its hard to give, when your burnt out from the day. This is a true statement from both of us, we are just burnt out and depleted by the time we have a moment to feed each other love.
Hearing this you might think that we don’t spend anytime together. We do! Oh yes we do! We cook dinner together, ride in the car together, have dinner and all meals together on weekends. We discuss our budget, our kids, our school, his work, my blog, we talk. But we aren’t feeding our love languages.
Skinnybutts love language is by far personal touch. Which, after being touched all day by little humans, I don’t have the energy to fill my husbands love tank. I would cuddle, but it would last for 3.5 seconds, he wasn’t content, I was frustrated, sleeping was a nightmare.
But…. we found a solution! It was by accident, or maybe purpose. Someone likes to set his alarm so he can hit the snooze button. I’m not faulting my husband for this, I think we all still to this day just want “ten extra minutes.” So he went for thirty extra minutes, because well, he likes to annoy me (I really don’t know why, just a guess.) Because when you don’t need to get up at a set time, WHO likes to hear an alarm clock for 30 minutes to go off every 10 minutes. It disrupts my sleep, and I obliged to tell him this.
Something had to change, I don’t know if it was him or if it was me, but one morning when the alarm went off in the morning someone cuddled up to the other one. I wish I could take credit for it, but I really don’t know who started it. This went on for a while, and then we missed cuddle time. Results from missing one day: Disastrous. We both noticed a difference in our day! Something was off. We missed our cuddles. Luckily, we realized that this cuddle time was making a difference in our marriage.
Now we set a “cuddle alarm”. Yes, we set it to go off thirty minutes before we need to get up. Then we have another alarm set for when we have to get up. We cuddle for that thirty minutes without disruption of other alarms. He gets his love tank filled, mine gets filled. We start our day off full, from whom we want the love from the most. We both get a better start to the day. And the kids get the benefit of it too.